Christmas Sunday, Dec 23 2007

SO YAY its almost Christmas…. what a wonderful day Christmas is.  I am so blessed to have an awesome family to celebrate this amazing holiday with.  I am always full of thoughts and questions when Christmas time rolls around the main one being am I living my life the way that Jesus would want me to?  Its hard because we all want to live virtuous and fulfilling lives but we are humans who are flawed and far from perfect.  The whole reason for Jesus’ existence was that He freed us from our sins.  He knows  that we are flawed and that we ARE going to make mistakes, but He is always going to forgive us.  That is something so powerful and hard to believe sometimes.  When I think about someone that did something so hurtful to me, I think about how I don’t think I would ever be able to forgive that person, yet Jesus does!! AMAZING!!!

So this Christmas I think about all those times that I have fallen away from what Jesus would have done and start again and try harder this time.  I learn from my mistakes and then I try to do better next time and sometimes in life we have to make mistakes many many times before we realize what went wrong but fear not, in the end it will all be ok if we Believe!  And I know that I sure do and I am so thankful for Gods presence in my life every day!

So I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas that leads us to deeper faith!

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Life Wednesday, Dec 19 2007

I have lived my life doing my best to follow the path that Jesus has laid out for me and even though I grew up that way, its not always the easiest path. Unlike many others, I have never had a sort of AH HA! moment where I realized all at once what Jesus did for me or what He wanted me to do. For me it has been more of a gradual thing which has been quite trying on me. I was so used to hearing all of the stories about Jesus and being taught that Jesus was the son of God who can to take away our sins and yada yada yada, that sometimes throughout my life I forgot that faith was about more than that.

I have been tested in many ways and sometimes I feel as though I failed along the way.  In these times, the moment that I finally realized I was being led astray, I did my best to make my way back.  Sometimes this was extremely hard especially during those times when I did not have anyone to help me get back on track. Since I have grown up Catholic, church was sometimes more of an obligation than anything else. In the last few years I have finally realized what “going to church” actually means. Its not just about taking the body and blood of Christ, and its not even just about hearing passages from the bible to fulfill my weekly duties. No its about connecting these things (and other things) to daily life. It is about relating experiences that we have to how Jesus lived his life and trying to live our life in hit footprints. 

Just recently I have been introduced to some new friends at a new church who are awesome and exactly what I needed.  Last year I was able to really search a lot in my faith because of the environment I was in and I feared that when I moved back home, I would not be able to keep up with it.  I am very thankful to Jamie for letting me tag along with him to church and to meet everyone because they have really helped me to keep God in my thoughts more so than if I didn’t know them.  See being in the field of science, not many people have much to do with religion, so many of my new friends here do not really get why I am as they would say “so into God” so it is awesome to have people there to help me. 

All this being said, I still need help and support to make sure that I stay on this path because sometimes life takes over and you forget the important things so if I go astray I hope that all my friends will help me back to where I belong.  I have also more recently started reading the bible more often because once again as a Catholic, we don’t really get taught to go home and read from the bible every day however the only way to really learn more and to connect more with God is to read about it from the source.  I am glad that I am able to work a little towards this relationship thanks to everyone so please keep encouraging me and giving me support if it seems like I may be off the path a little!

Thanks

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Work Wednesday, Dec 19 2007

You may or may not know, but I am working towards my Ph.D. in Chemistry at UB as of August of these year.  At first I was just taking classes but now I am officially starting to do research in the lab.  Its so exciting because I actually feel like I am finally doing something productive. 

I am also making a lot of pretty cool friends here which is nice because all of my friends from undergrad are always so busy with their things, especially since most of them are in relationships.  Its hard when you hang out with people who all have significant others and you are the one single person so I am really glad that I am making my new friends here and of course my new friends from Northgate who are awesome!   I look forward to getting to know all of my new friends better as the year continues.

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Friends…. Tuesday, Dec 11 2007

Yay to Larry cuz he is awesome and he figured out for me how to get my bloggers list on my webpage!! and YAY to all the other awesome people that I have recently started hanging out with more cuz they are truely wonderful! Also I am very excited because I got to hang out with a good friend last night who I haven’t seen in a while so that was nice.

On a not so fun note…. some of my friends who I was really really close with haven’t gotten back in touch with me in a while. I know that as you grow you sometimes lose touch with people but these friends were always so good at contacting me and getting together and staying in touch but more recently it has not been the case. Right now there is one person in particular that I am a little frustrated with.

So my friend Jeremy introduced me to a monthly lets call it a “get together” called Theology on Tap. We have been going since September and tonight was the last one of 2007 with Bishop Kmiec coming to speak and I was thinking about going but I wasn’t sure because I don’t really know a lot of the people that go normally. So Jeremy wasn’t sure if he was going to get to go or not because of his finals which is fine and dandy but I have been trying to get ahold of him for a few days so he would let me know if he was going to drop by or not and he never got back to me. I just don’t understand because I sent him a text and called him a couple of times and no response…. ughhh sometimes I wonder why I put so much effort into people to not even get a simple yes or no back from someone who I have been there for through so much!!

Well at least I have some new friends to look forward to and know they are better at responding. Sorry for the rant but it was just what was going on in this complicated little head of mine.

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First blog Tuesday, Dec 11 2007

So this is my first blog and I normally don’t do well with writing blogs and such but I thought that I would try something different because a lot of things around me and within me are changing lately so why not try something new. 

So a little about myself…. I am currently in Graduate school for my Ph.D. in Chemistry at the Univeristy at Buffalo.  I live in Lockport, NY currently with my parents to save some money.  My life is a little hectic right now and sometimes it is hard to keep going but I have to just keep pushing forward.  I graduated from Canisius College in May of 2006 and I spent the last year before I started graduate school in New York City running an after school program from 25 children in the South Bronx and it was the best year of my life.  Transitioning back to life in Lockport sure was interesting and difficult but I am getting back into the swing of things.

I have recently started going to Thursday’s at Northgate thanks to Jamie and I have met some amazing people.  I have gone to church my whole life and was raised Catholic and still am, but sometimes I feel like I need a little more than what the typical Sunday mass has to offer so I have been exploring things more the past 2 or 3 years trying to see exactly what Jesus means to me and not just means to the church and it has been a great journey that will continue for quite a while I am sure. 

Anywhooo— thats really all I have to say for now…

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